Hearing the Holy Spirit: Three Steps to Hearing again after Religious Trauma
When we experience spiritual abuse or religious trauma, we are left to pick up the pieces not only of a shattered heart, but also a shattered spirit. What we once knew as fact has catapulted us into a cobweb of uncertainty, and we can’t identify what’s what or who is what. Is God still good? Is the Holy Spirit with us? Will we ever differentiate truths from the lies of spiritual abuse? The answer: YES! It will be tough, but it will happen.
The Awakening
Every question led to another question: “Did the Holy Spirit say that, or was that me?” “What if it isn’t the Holy Spirit, and it’s just what I was raised to believe?” “Can I trust myself to know if it’s the Holy Spirit leading or not?” So many questions spun in her mind as she tried to find a firm foundation of faith again. The pleading look in her eyes was begging me to have a one and done answer. All I could give as an answer was, “That is tough. But we will figure it out together.”
She could see it all: the religious coercion, the manipulation in Jesus’ name, the scripture used to harm rather than heal, and the people who spiritually bypassed her. How was she to make sense of all she experienced? However, simply identifying that it happened gave her space to question, which was a healthy step toward healing.
Sometimes recognizing that something is not right or is “off” permits us to know that what we are experiencing is different than what we were designed to experience. God called us to have an abundant life (John 10:10). Even in this world of trouble, he told us that we can still experience him (John 16:33). However, spiritual abuse and religious trauma diminishes this God-given experience. But even in this robbing of our spiritual experiences, the Holy Spirit is awakening us that something is not right, is “off,” even if it is through our questions.
Through three sacred steps, we can trust what we are sensing and hearing from the Holy Spirit. We can find solace in our questioning because we know it is a first step to finding the truth that will set us free (John 8:32).
Three Sacred Steps
1) Trust what your feeling
God knows all his children by name. All of us were created in his image; however, some people have chosen to walk away from their creator. And God knows each one and how they may have used Him, his word, and Holy Spirit to deceive others. And his heart aches with us and for us.
Some of the impact of religious trauma can be PTSD or PTSD like symptoms. We may be triggered with religious words, Bible verses, religious people, etc. It is hard to trust what we are feeling because everything feels stuck in the cobweb. Additionally, this frustration can lead to shame because we feel we should be farther along or less hurt than we are.
Yet, in all this we still need to trust our own experience. We can approach the experience or feeling with curiosity to investigate if how we have perceived or experienced something is as we thought. If it isn’t, then we can adjust our internal state as needed. However, we do not to self-gaslight or allow others to spiritually gaslight us so that we deny our reality or experience shame for our feelings.
2) Practice discernment and wisdom
Wisdom will be needed to discern what we can and cannot trust. For many of us, all we knew to be true was used as a weapon possibly to coerce, manipulate, demean, and isolate us. Therefore, learning how to engage discernment and wisdom in a healthy way will allow us to experience the Holy Spirit in a fresh way.
While Scripture may have been used to harm you, I hope that you can receive this Scripture not has harm, but as healing. James 3:17 states, “But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.” This is the type of wisdom and discernment the Holy Spirit will provide. The Holy Spirit will not harm or weaponize God’s truth. The words he speaks will always reflect the character of Christ and supply us with wisdom that also reflects Christ.
3) Knowing Jesus
This may seem like a “No duh” section. However, when we have experienced spiritual abuse or religious trauma, we may question our relationship with Christ. This may be due to not trusting him, or someone telling us how wretched we are and making us question how God could want us.
First, Jesus absolutely treasures us (John 3:16, Romans 3:23, 1 Peter 2:9). Literally, the Bible tells us so. Whatever anyone else has taught us or made us believe about him or ourselves, if it goes against God’s word, it is false. The one thing we can cling to is the Word of God. It has not changed in over 2,000 years, and its’s not changing today either.
Secondly, the ones who have weaponized God’s truths, his word, even his character are constantly changing. They change like a chameleon. Therefore, we need to reassess where our foundation is built. If it isn’t built on Jesus, we will have difficulty discerning and practicing wisdom as well as experiencing healing.
Lastly, The Holy Spirit will teach us and remind us of Jesus’ character and his truths (John 14:26). If what we are hearing or experiencing does not display the fruits of the spirit (Galatians 5:22-23), the way of love (1 Cor. 13), or truth and grace (John 1:14), then we can trust the wisdom of the Holy Spirit to discern that this is not of God.
Final Thoughts
Trusting the Holy Spirit, God, anything “Christiany” is so hard and can be triggering after spiritual abuse. Religious trauma leaves us fragmented in body, soul, and spirit. However, trusting what we are feeling, practicing discernment, and anchoring in Christ can offer us an opportunity to engage and hear the Holy Spirit as “the Spirit of Truth” to find our firm foundation again (John 14:17; John 16:13).