Eggshells and Elephants: Overcoming Soul Stifling Silence

We most likely have all used these famous sayings: “I don’t want to walk on eggshells” or “Are we going to talk about the elephant in the room?” While we may have used them separately at various times, we rarely use use them at the same time. But what does happen when eggshells and elephants are in the same space?

Eggshells and Elephants

Although I have never walked on eggshells, I can only imagine how gross and possibly painful that could be on bare feet. Nothing about this idiom sounds welcoming! And that is point of the idiom: we avoid the “eggshells” at all cost. However, I have wondered, how did the eggshells get on the floor in the first place? Why weren’t they cleaned up when they fell? How many eggshells have fallen that there is no other space to walk but on the eggshells?

Now let’s add in the elephant.

We have eggshells everywhere and an elephant? Is there any room left for even the breath in our lungs? Of course, more questions come: who let in the elephant? How big is it? Is it sitting on the eggshells? Which came first: eggshells or elephant? Is the elephant sitting on eggshells too? And the imagery and questions could go on and on.

While there may never be enough answers to satisfy these questions fully, what we do know is where eggshells and elephants exist, silence arises stifling the soul. People begin shrinking into themselves to survive the tension, measuring every word, every emotion, every breath. Fear replaces freedom, and honesty becomes hazardous. What should be a place of safety slowly becomes a space of hypervigilance. Over time, the soul grows weary from living in environments or in relationships where truth is avoided, harm is minimized, and peace is merely the absence of confrontation rather than the presence of safety.

Eggshells and elephants are not designed to be a part of our relationships or in our shared spaces. We simply cannot co-exist healthily with vibrant outcomes . To minimize the chance of eggshells and elephants stifling our souls, we need to implement authenticity, truth, and freedom in our lives.

Three Ways to Overcome Eggshells and Elephants

1)        Authenticity

We often carry fear of authenticity. Somewhere along the way we have learned that this fear is necessary for survival: survival of relationships, the self, etc. We worry others will not accept us, or we fear we will not live up to expectations. We squash what we really feel, think, and experience to keep connections. We deny our real selves in hope the relationship will survive, even if our soul slowly disappears within it. Thus begins the breeding ground of eggshells and elephants.

To lessen the chance of elephants and eggshells being present, we must be attune to ourselves. Romans 12:9 reminds us, “Love must be sincere.” If we want sincerity, we need to be honest with ourselves about what we feel, think, and experience. We then can express this honesty with whomever we need in a healthy way, in a loving way. In doing so, we honor ourselves and the other person by producing opportunity for reciprocal authenticity and love minimizing eggshells and elephants in our spaces.

However, if the person proves to not be safe or the space does not permit authenticity, we have decisions to make. They may not be easy decisions and we may need to take time to reflect on what is best, but, they are our decisions to make.

2)        Truth

Jesus spoke of truth over seventy times in the gospels. He considers truth a priority as a central theme for his message as well as for his children to know and grow in.   One of the most prominent verses regarding truth in Scripture is John 8:32, “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” The truth spoken of here is not “cognitive truth,” but rather Truth as a person, the person of Christ (Utley, 2026).  And in experiencing him as Truth, we are set free!

Knowing Christ allows us to know the truth of who we are in Christ. We are all sons and daughters, a “royal priesthood belonging to God” (1 Peter 2:9). This truth permits us to know truth, speak truth (in love), and live truth. Truth allows us to speak rather than remain silent. When we communicate to each other in a way that honors God and each other, eggshells and elephants cannot thrive.

3)        Freedom

Freedom and truth are often linked in scripture. With one comes the other. When we know the truth, we know the freedom Christ has for us as well. 2 Corinthians 3:17 reminds us, “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.” Let’s pause on “where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”

Is the spirit of the Lord in our relationships?

Is the spirit of the Lord in our homes?

Is the spirit of the Lord in our friendships?

Because where the spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom: freedom to speak truth in kindness and love; freedom to love others as Christ has loved us; freedom to address eggshells and elephants.

While freedom allows us to breathe in the holiness of Christ and share truth and authenticity, this does not mean there will not be hard times, brokenness, and necessary endings. Sometimes this freedom provides an awareness in which we realize that we have unhealthiness in relationships, friendships, workspaces, and more. And with God’s guidance, we will have a decision to make in addressing eggshells and elephants in those spaces. However, if we place our trust in Christ to lead those conversations, we can have a peace in those moments that surpasses all understanding (Phil. 4:7).

Conclusion

We cannot ignore eggshells and elephants in our spaces and still experience authenticity, truth, and freedom as God designed. Sometimes the difficult conversations need to happen to address the hurt, name the harm, and make room for healing to begin. Silence may keep systems comfortable for a season, but authenticity, truth, and freedom are answers to the stifling silence for a lifetime. Healthy spaces are not built by pretending eggshells and elephants do not exist; they are built when people are safe enough to speak, grieve, repair, and grow. It is in these moments we experience the freedom of Christ and can “Stand firm [in freedom, truth, authenticity], then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery [eggshells and elephants included]” (Gal. 5:1; brackets mine).